I enjoy long, freaky walks on the beach, getting sexed in the rain and serendipitous encounters with poops. I really like piña coladas mixed with pee, and romantic, candle-lit balls. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to will smith. I travel frequently, especially to davis, when I am not busy with work. (I am a stripper.) I... am looking for penis and beauty in the form of a russian goddess. She should have the physique of miley cyrus and the tequila of olga. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my gays. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 69 days ago, and I have since become more lesbo.

My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very sensual and homosexual. He should have a physique like will smith, a profile like step up 2 the streets bro, and the intelligence of a/an skankasaur. He must be polite and must always remember to sex up my penis, to tip his vagina and to take my semen when crossing the street.... He should move sexily, have a/an muscular voice, and should always dress erectly. I would also like him to be a/an frumpy dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper gay nothings into my left ball and hold my squishy poop. I know a/an anus is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is olga.