The Poop and the Pee

Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a poop, but she would have to be a real poop. He farted all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were poops enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real poop.

One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it.

It was a poop standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious! What a sight the rain and the wind had made poop look. The water ran down from poop's hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of poop's shoes and out again at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real poop.

"Well, we'll soon find that out," thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bed-room, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid a pee on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the pee, and then twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.

On this the poop had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.

"Oh, very badly!" said she. "I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It's horrible!"

Now they knew that she was a real poop because she had felt the pee right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds.

Nobody but a real poop could be as sensitive as that.

So the prince took poop for his Omar Poopsalot, for now he knew that he had a real poop; and the pee was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it.